Pinay Romances

10 Expert Chat Message Process To Get The Filipino Woman You Want

Martin Cooney
May 20, 2020 • 13 min read • Click for comments
Updated: April 11, 2022
Filipino woman on her phone

99% of guys don't have that magic Alpha-Male superpower of instant attraction, with women.

Most of those same 99% come ill-equipped to an online Filipino dating site. Despite what many of you might think, pretending to act as some macho guy works against you when it comes to a Filipino woman.

You need to better understand how you all can up your 'game'. It isn't rocket-science. But it is a new learning you can easily incorporate into your online chatting activities.

Also remember that messaging success is a culmination of your entire - photos, description and chat messaging. Even your username reflects on the package you're presenting, online.

You'll see a much higher return than those Alpha-Males too so strap in now and continue reading.

Who Should Read About Messaging?

Let's start with the types of men and women who visit an online dating site first.

General types of guys:

  • Looking for a long term girlfriend or wife
  • Looking as a sex tourist
  • Looking for a casual relationship with a Filipino woman
  • Just looking to chat

General types of Filipino women:

  • Looking for a long term foreign boyfriend or husband
  • Looking as a sex worker
  • Looking for financial support
  • Just looking to chat

There's a lot of crossover there.

In all cases though, if you are looking for higher success in not being blocked or ignored, there's always room for improvement in how you conduct yourself and method in which you make first contact.

You want to minimize your losses and maximize success with the people you're most interested in.

Guy sending phone message
Do not get stuck for words. Organise your messaging plans.

Why Is Messaging So Important?

Think of the analogy of you walking into a real bar or club.

Like most guys, you'll be scouting the room to find a woman you find attractive. And then comes 'that moment' when you have to grow extra balls and make contact.

It's that same moment with messaging. You've browsed lots of Filipino girls' photos online, chosen a few to contact and now you need to send messages and start an online conversation.

Are you going to stuff that first part up or are you going to think a little first?

Are You Looking Long Term?

If you're in the market for a long term relationship with a Filipino woman, the main area you should focus on, in everything you do, is centred initially around establishing trust.

Trust takes time to build and destroyed in seconds.

A Filipino woman isn't oblivious to the fact many overseas guys are traveling the Philippines looking for a casual holiday girlfriend they can fuck when they want and enjoy a few short weeks vacation. But they are also ever hopeful that casual encounter just might turn into something more permanent.

With this thought already in most of their minds, a guy's first contact needs to be planned. Establishing your credibility in your online profile's description is where you need to begin.

Don't go overboard with a diatribe of words. Short concise sentences and line breaks so everything is easy to read and understand is also important.

Establish what and who it is you're looking for.

  • If you're looking for a long term relationship, say so.
  • If you're not, be honest so the Filipino woman who only want chatting or something casual hit you up.

Now get your profiles photos in order.

We can't stress enough how important these are. Read more about photos here.

Don't Message Just Yet

Patience is a virtue. So is planning your strategy.

Start browsing and reviewing a Filipino woman profile who you find appealing. Use the Rating and Secret Notes for each profile and start jotting interesting facets and potential questions of each Filipino woman you like.

This part of the plan allows you time to review photos and/or their profile description so you can align some of what you've noticed to your own life experiences.

You might be thinking that this is deceptive. It isn't.

What you are attempting to do is find common ground with a Filipino woman so you can build connections with them. Think of your friends. You form friendships because you have common interests or personality traits.

That's all you doing here too.

Be a Photo Detective

Let's explain a few practical examples of the detective work you need to start doing, to ramp up the chat message starters.

Filipino girl at the beach
Here she is. What do you see that is interesting?

So let's run through this example photo and see if you can think of more:-

  1. Wow, that's so crystal clear. How far are you from the sand?
  2. Is that a diving watch? I love to go snorkeling. Do you?
  3. I really like your bikini combo. Is the black bottoms the same style? How different?
  4. Is that a tattoo? Looks so elegant. What is it of?
  5. Cool. Is that surf I see in the distance? Do you playing in the waves too? I do.
  6. What's that island I see?
  7. Actually, where are you there too lol?
  8. Are those caves in the side of the rocks?
  9. Bonus Question - Do you have any other photos around that beach? I love the beach so much.

There's 9 conversations starters from a seemingly plain beach photo. The last is gently giving that little cutie Filipino woman subconscious pointers that you're interested.

She'll be swinging into 'mating mode' moments after reading messages like this.

Let's look at another example. Here's 2 photos of the same Filipino woman.

Side by side comparison photo of filipina woman
Another to compare. What other differences do you see?
  1. Do you really have blue eyes or are they contact lenses?
  2. So many interesting tattoos. Is that a Buddha on your left arm? What others do you have?
  3. Do you have long or short hair now? (You can always have more questions when you do photo comparisons)
  4. Where is the place with the water? Good for swimming? Did you go swimming?
  5. So many places have great beaches in the Philippines. Do you prefer beach or adventure?
  6. You have great taste in simple and stylish jewelry. I love those earrings. Is that one special?
  7. Do you smoke? But did you do those 2 at once lol
  8. Are they your kids in the photo? Filipino kids are just so cute

Please don't ask the bonus question about a Filipino woman and her breast size - I know it's on my mind too but that can come later.

Start polite questions.

More risque stuff comes later.

Casual, Sex Tourists & Chatters

All 3 of these categories of men should follow much the same guidelines as above.

We covered in-depth in getting laid in the Philippines in a recent post too - so if your interests are in a Filipino woman for a holiday girlfriend or simply banging your brains out, you need to check this post out first.

Building trust is still important if you're looking for a holiday girlfriend - they're not likely to want to travel the countryside with a potential asshole, are they?

Since they'll be traveling with you for sex-on-call, you need to make sure your profile photos are in order. Clear well presented photos are very important. A Filipino woman will need to be attracted to you in some way.

Sex tourists is the easiest one of all. There are a lot of pinay women, on all dating sites, looking to arrange a sex-only hookup transaction. Most are honest enough to list their occupations as 'Freelance' or suggest what they're looking for in their profile description.

Many of our male members here are simply looking to chat online.

While Filipino people are family driven and live in close-knit communities, the same can not be said for the West.

Single men often live alone. They spend many hours without any outside contact. It's a good choice to join an online dating site.

They are usually the ones more prepared than other guys because they're accustomed to engaging online women in conversation.

How To Craft Your Chat Messaging

OK, we're now at the pointy end of the stick - the actual messages you send out.

And your mother was right when she told you to respect women.

If you can't greet a Filipino woman with some courtesy, don't expect the Filipino woman to give you the time of day and you'll more than likely get blocked, with no further contact possible.

When you first start browsing with us, you'll quickly notice we've already done a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to that first message.

With PinayRomances, there are pre-canned or pre-built greeting messages already installed. You only need to press the 'Send' button and keep browsing.

This works great for most men. If you've got your long-term strategy in place, you might be better to stick with better conversation starters. But it certainly doesn't hurt to say 'Hi' first.

Please do consideration that many Filipino women do not speak English as well as you might think.

Explain & Ask Questions

It is ranked at No. 2 in the Asian English Proficiency Index.

RankCountryEF EPI Score
4Hong Kong, China55.63%
6South Korea55.04%
7Taiwan, China54.18%

EF English Proficiency Index - data extracted & collated from

With this in mind, you DO need to show some patience. It can get a little frustrating too.

Often the meaning / context of complicated questions can be lost of them. A Filipino woman can get easily confused or can answer in terms of what they think you said.

This is true of any woman in South East Asia - if you're looking to meet one and have any sort of relationship then be prepared for some confusion.

A Filipino Woman - Messaging Golden Rules

  • Be polite - again, be polite!
  • Do not talk about sex, your dick or their body parts
  • Start slow, say Hi first
  • Keep your first message sentences short. Try a limit of 10 words and gauge their comprehension
  • As before, do some probing about the profile description
  • Avoid those initial personal questions until after they ask some of you
  • Ask about their family - they love their family
  • Chat about Philippines food - another passionate love of a Filipino woman
  • You will always find common ground from her photos - explore them and take notice

Take Tips From Professionals

Do watch this video.

Listen to how professional conversationalists explain how to engage with other people.

You can use these real world tips in exactly the same way, in the online world.

It's all about how to establish that first connection and messaging flow which we've spoken about already.

  1. Get the first message out and make it a simple one such a 'Hi'
  2. Find the 'Me Too' - common ground between two different people
  3. Pay a Unique Compliment - no pinay girl will forget your compliment
  4. Ask for an opinion - you open up a 2 way street inviting flowing conversation
  5. Be present - actually take notice and listen to what that girl is telling you
  6. Name, Place, Animal, Thing - check the video how this plays out in chatting

Chat Applications

If you've had some good chats online here and you've found a fondness for her, you might want to transfer your chats to a dedicated messaging app. That's normal to do but only after you know her and what her goals and agendas are.

You don't need to jump to an app immediately and find yourself with an online stalker.

Ease into it, with due diligence.

The more popular messaging apps in the Philippines tend to be WhatsApp, Skype, Instagram and Facebook Messenger. While Line app is popular in Thailand, it hasn't gained a big foothold in the Philippines.

If you're wanting to chat outside here and don't have these apps installed, don't expect them to install what you want. Except Google HangOuts - that tends to be popular with scammers only.

You install what they're using and get chatting. It's as simple as that. Less friction.


Online dating and meeting Filipino women through us might sound initially daunting, if you've never done it before.

It isn't. It's way easier than real life, trust me.

Familiarize yourself with the interface, follow these proven guidelines and you'll get the pinay girls you want.

Filipino women join a dating site to get noticed and find a foreign boyfriend.

You only need to get out of your own way, set things up correctly, show patience and give her want she thinks she needs - polite chat that will lead to your outcome.


What's a good online chatting process for finding a Filipino woman?

  • Show respect
  • Be polite
  • Avoid the dirty sex talk
  • Start slow
  • Keep messages concise and short
  • Do a little photo probing
  • Don't ask personal questions until she does
  • Talk about her family and Philippines food

Last updated: April 11, 2022

Martin enjoys Asian food, cute Asian girls and travel in South East Asia.
Martin Cooney
Enjoying Life in Asia/Pacific

Hi, my name is Martin. I have many friends in and traveled throughout the Asia/Pacific regions for the past 17 years. I am passionate in helping others with my insight and past adventures.

I hope you enjoy the stories I write and take a little something away from them. I've contributed to over 160 posts on travel, dating, marriage and relationships.