Should I Take my Filipino Woman Back Home?
With interracial relationships, this question always pops up. And certainly when the guy is older than the woman. Should you dare take your filipino girlfriend back home with you?
If you have the means, accommodation and are both agreeable, you have every reason to take her back to your home country. Of all the Southeast Asian countries, Filipinos are in the majority to migrate overseas. Our own quick survey suggests 80% of pinay girls would jump at the chance to be with you, wherever you are.
First There's George's Story ... for Context
I'll talk about my other friend, Ronnie's story later in the post so stay tuned for his views.
I first came to know George through answering some Admin messages on our website here and trying to give him some clarity and help, regarding his situation.
He was a good-looking 43-year-old Nigerian born guy, raised and (previously) living in London, UK.
He was a lawyer by profession but had grown a little weary of that life. He was passionate for travel, especially in Southeast Asia. He'd been a tenacious lawyer, built up a good client base and then leased it to a larger law firm in London. This allowed him to do minimal work, for a hefty regular revenue stream.
He'd always loved the idea of being able to make movies. Being in a fortunate situation financially, he decided to travel more and build up a resume in producing music videos and documentaries. It's good to have a plan.
He was a regular visitor to both Thailand and the Philippines, with the Philippines having more of a hold on what we liked, in life.
Through our site, George met a number of filipina women and spent the majority of his time in the Philippines with his Manilla girl, for each trip. He told me a number of times that doing this was important for him to start understanding the mindset as well as the lifestyle of how the people in the Philippines live (and view foreign men).
And 'crunch time' came on one of these trips when he felt particularly fond of a pinay girl from Davao City.
He was deciding whether to permanently base himself in the Philippines, move back to London himself OR move back to the UK with this Filipino woman.
While loving the life style in the Philippines, he was very homesick for the UK, his family and friends. But was particularly concerned about his friends and families' thoughts with him bringing a filipino girl back with him.
He eventually decided to travel back to the UK, alone.
He wasn't 100% sure about the girl and was also worried about the racism she would get from his friends and family.
Racism from black Nigerians towards a brown filipino woman - who'd have thought.
By the way, George is still travelling back and forth to South-East Asia so he hasn't given up in finding the new place to live or having an Asian woman.
Some people just need to take some time.
Should You Take Her Home?
Living in another country takes some getting used to. And there are reasons why you simply can't.
Much like George, you might think you've been lucky and found the right girl.
Experience shows that unless you've physically lived with a women for at least 12 - 18 months, then you won't know all the nuances of her as well as the mental baggage she might have stashed away.
We've seen many guys have great success in finding good filipino women and we've seen many guys rush in and realise they've made mistakes, by rushing their situation.
There's no harm in being cautious. None at all.
If you need to go back home but you've found a good woman in the Philippines, she needs to be OK and wait for you. If she isn't prepared to do that then she isn't the one for you. Don't settle for less!
A lot of guys have arranged and paid for flights for their girls to come and visit. This is a great plan to see how well the girl adjusts, to your home environment.
We've all grown up in our own home countries.
You're accustomed to your own culture.
You appreciate so much from where you live.
And some countries' food can't be easily found in the Philippines.
You would love for your girlfriend to experience all of this too.
You Miss Your Friends
We personally know a number of single guys who's dream it was to stay, live and retire in the Philippines.
But every person as a long past history.
There are many variables that influence your life. Most of us have grown up with a close circle of good friends. Never seeing them again, in the flesh, can be quite an obstacle for some people.
For many travellers, it is easy just to use Skype, WhatsApp or another messaging video service. But we know that being unable to personally mingle with your friends, having a beer or a wine together, is difficult for some people to overcome.
You may be the same.
You could consider taking your girl home with you and introduce her to your friends.
You've Got a Job Back Home
If you're travelling to the Philippines for the first time, you probably have a job to return to back home.
That's just how life is.
Most guys simply can't pack up and leave everything, to live in another country. It takes a willingness too.
That sort of lifestyle change requires some planning BUT many foreign guys choose to do exactly that.
Do you need to do that job back home, for the long term?
- what skills are you good at?
- what job/s in your current fieldcan be done remotely?
- can you provide the same or similar services remotely, to your current employer?
Maybe it's a big "NO" to all the above. That's OK too. But:
- can you learn new skills so you can provide services remotely?
Example: if you're in an IT field, this lends itself to Internet Services. You'd already have an understanding across many broad topics and techniques which could translate to Internet services.
These are what many digital nomads are doing.
- they can advertise copywriting services
- they've turned their hobbies into services
- some speak other languages and sell their translation expertise
- they've studied 'Drop-Shipping' and sell other people's products online
It's in the planning and execution.
At the end of the day you need to do what you must.
You Simply Don't Like the Philippines
The Philippines is not for everyone.
It's a different country, to your own back home.
While you might have found a cute pinay girlfriend, things such as the lifestyle, crime and the lower health care maybe areas that send you packing off to home.
South-East Asian countries have a relaxed lifestyle, despite their own unique 'hustle and bustle'.
Some foreign guys find it difficult to live for long periods at a time, in a casual relaxed lifestyle.
They've been used to their own western life's chaos. They can appreciate a relaxing holiday but they're itching to return and get back.
We've all been there too.
There's crime in every country of the world.
The Philippines is no different.
The capital cities such as Manila and Cebu have a moderately higher rate of violent crime. Violent robbery and assault against tourists is not uncommon.
Gun ownership amongst Filipinos is reasonably high - it's the second-highest country of South East Asia. Combining high gun ownership with poor regulation leads to gun crimes.
In recent years terrorism and kidnappings have been on the rise. Tourists need to keep track on where these hotspots are.
Any foreign country has its dangers. You must develop your own personal safety tips. Do these and you'll be reasonably insulated:
- One of the best deterrents is to not give others reason to notice you.
- Don't wear expensive jewelry or display flashy gold chains
- If you use a backpack, carry it on the front side when you're in public.
- Don't put phones, wallets or other valuables in your backpack either
- Especially true for women but also applies to men. Don't put yourself in harms way by walking in dimly lit streets. Always be mindful of your surroundings
If you've noticed the crime level is higher throughout your holiday in the Philippines then this might be a good reason for you to return home.
(Or try a completely new part of the country might be a better suggestion)
Your Filipino Girlfriend Is Sure to Go Too!
If you do decide to move back home, the one area you never need worry about is whether your Filipino girlfriend will travel back with you or not.
With the advent of social media such as Facebook exploding globally, the people in the Philippines understand full well what other countries can offer. And they've known for a very long time.
The Philippines has long been visited by the American Armed Forces and many of these men have taken Filipino wives back home with them.
Filipinos can be found in every country around the world, working and living.
It's a very poor country and work is difficult to come by.
You only need to mention to the girl if she would like to come back to your home country and she will jump at the opportunity.
Why You Should Stay in Philippines
Most foreign guys (who are living in the Philippines full-time) will tell you their lifestyle is the BIG winner for them.
They'll never ever return to their home country.
OK, maybe it's a tie between the lifestyle and the volume and quality of the available filipino girls lol.
As an example, one friend of mine, Ronnie, has a similar story to many other foreigners who have hooked up with filipino women.
When we're young, we all tend to follow the life path of our peers and own parents.
You know the drill, find a good job, meet a good girl, buy a house, have kids, go to work, come home, try and get some relax time in and it's off to work again and the cycle repeats until you die.
You get the idea lol.
As we grow older (and our Western wives or girlfriends grow older), your perspective on life changes. There's that nagging question of 'is there something better in life than what I'm doing now'.
And, sadly, feminism tends to creeping in too. The majority of foreign guys that now live in South East Asian countries (with Thai or Filipino girls) have had a gut-full of feminist-fuelled Western women.
And Ronnie fits this scenario.
He'd been in a 10 year relationship, with an attractive blond western woman.
Outwardly, anyone looking at them as a couple would think they've got the ideal relationship.
But how far from the truth that actually was.
Women have this tendency to want to mould a guy into 'her image of the guy' she would love him to be.
At the end of the day, Ronnie was being more constrained, in what he liked to do to relax, by this woman. At some point, a guy decides he's had enough of the BS.
Fortunately for him, he was invited to the Philippines to do some work for a previous employer.
He'd never been to the Philippines before.
He saw first-hand how much of a different lifestyle Western foreigners had when they lived in the Philippines. So much of a more relaxed lifestyle. He liked how the Cebu filipino girls were eyeing him up-and-down - he hadn't experienced that, in a long long time.
It wasn't long before he was hooked on what the country could offer him.
He enjoyed the food and the freedoms he was discovering.
Sure, there are bad aspects of the Philippines, as there are in every country. He just made allowances for those, in the lifestyle he was now adopting.
Before he flew back home, he made the decision to relocate back to the Philippines.
He was fortunate to have already had an Internet-based business.
He set in motion his plans to relocate and operate the business, in another country. Ronnie also struck up some new local Western friendships which basically replaces lost friends back home.
He's now been living in Philippines for the past 6 - 7 years, with a cute sexy Filipino girl and he has never looked back.
He also enjoys a far lower cost of living in the Philippines which lengthens his financial longevity.
If you've never visited or lived in a South-East Asian country then you're in for a treat, with the Philippines.
There is so much to keep you here.
The Philippines is much the same as many Asian countries in that the population are pretty chill about life (Though Thailand is the most chilled, in my opinion).
When you hook-up with a cute relaxed filipino girl, you're life and behavior changes.
Add in some of the most beautiful beaches in the world and you've got a recipe that can completely change your life. And believe me, that is really something you need to experience, firsthand.
But you've got to REALLY want it.
Cost of Living in PH
Everyone should be concerned with their financial situation.
Times are getting tough, the world over.
It makes sense to maximize each and every dollar you have and earn. For some guys, leaving their home country means they don't get any retirement funds such as Australia and others.
South East Asian countries make an ideal destination, with their lower costs of living. You're able to still run a business in most SE Asian countries (check local laws and rules) which you get paid for in overseas currency so that's a double benefit.
Ideally, Internet based business are perfect.
Here's an example of what to expect in the Philippines:
|Philippines Avg. USD Cost||USA Avg. USD Cost|
|Meal for 2 People, Mid-range Restaurant, 3 course||2.94||15.00|
|Domestic Beer (0.5 liter draught)||1.18||4.50|
|Cigarettes 20 Pack||1.86||7.50|
|Internet (60 Mbps or More, Unlimited Data)||44.74||63.05|
|Cinema, International Release||4.90||12.00|
|Apartment (1 bedroom) in City Centre||288.74||1,303.49|
|Apartment (1 bedroom) Outside of Centre||161.87||1,036.53|
|One-way Ticket (Local Transport)||0.20||2.25|
Change of Pace
Everywhere in the world, life is getting increasingly hectic.
Western countries seem to be more chaotic then they were 10 years ago.
There's added pressure in 'keeping up with the Joneses'.
With that comes the constant accumulation of things. Kitchens overflow with the latest cooking gadgets, you're continually adding more and more like new computers, video games, cameras, upgrading your car (along with the expensive repair bills with modern-day vehicles). Costs and 'normal' living expenses are skyrocketing.
Then you visit the Philippines ...
It's a breath of fresh air. Life is simple, life is easy, life is uncomplicated.
Your brain starts to settle into a mode of relaxation and enjoyment.
Your mental state alters when you're with a simple relaxed filipina girl who worries about little in life.
Yes, the majority of Filipinos focus on getting a bit more money and that's normal when the majority of the country lives in poverty. Their goal in life is to seek something better. For many girls, that's finding themselves a good foreign boyfriend.
They hope that is going to be you!
If you've got your financial planning in place then there is very little left to concern yourself with. As we said before, you need to start future proofing your financial situation which can be done in phases too.
You're now in Southeast Asia, travel is one of the best medicines you can experience.
Travelling with a cute honey-skinned Philippines girl is certainly the way most foreign guys want to do it.
Plan to relax and relax with your plan.
Beaches & Girls
Sun, sea, surf, travel and cute brown-skinned filipino girls.
What's not to love?
The Philippines consists of many islands. So you've got an abundance of coastlines with beaches to explore. This is the world filipino women live in.
And you can too.
There are plenty of examples of foreign guys deciding on a new life and taking up residence in the Philippines.
Check out Chad and Ave's Youtube channel HERE.
Todd and J's Channel is HERE.
There's plenty more guys kicking back and relaxing with travel & their cute pinay girls. You can also make money in producing YouTube videos of your adventures, if that's something you're interested in trying.
For many foreigners, the best part of the country is the diversity of the food as well as it's tasty flavours.
It's hard to find any Western country that can serve up dishes like:-
Adobo is Spanish for “marinade”.
Chicken (or pork) marinated in a generous mixture of soya sauce and vinegar. This was traditionally used as a way of cooking meat.
The acid from the vinegar and high-salt content of the soya sauce produces an environment to stop bacteria growing. Other ingredients are added later.
An authentic adobo is cooked in clay pots. It's pretty good!
Yeah this one isn't for the feint hearted and I must admit I have yet to taste it myself - I get a little squeamish thinking of it hahaha
This dish is extremely popular in Vietnam too.
Balut is a popular filipino street food.
OK here goes - Balut is a developing duck embryo boiled and eaten in the shell. It's often served with a splash of vinegar.
As you can see in the pic below, it won't be for everyone but it's a famous often tried dish by tourists. I know a few of my friends who live in the Philippines have no problem in steering clear of Balut.
There's enough other tasty dishes to satisy their taste buds.
What About a Great Filipino Breakfast?
Tapsilog is famous in the Philippines and loved by locals and foreigners alike.
Eating is a national passion for Philippines people.
Tapsilog is a delicious combination of foods. With "tapa" which is a dried or cured meat, “sinangag” or garlic-fried rice and a fried egg.
It's a staple breakfast combo many tourists and filipinos alike love to chow down on, for the day's activities.
Many foreigners decide to stay in the Philippines simply because of the rich and varied assortment of foods. Filipino women love to cook too.
Finding a pinay girl who can cook good filipino food is a combination most guys dream of. For some, it's a big green tick in the box.
We haven't even covered all the filipino desserts yet. I'll leave it to your pinay girl to introduce those to you, personally :)
Retirement, Yes or No?
Most people these days worry about retirement.
Will they have enough money?
What are they going to do with themselves, through those all years to come?
What's going to happen when their aging spouse dies?
That thinking can turn you brain-dead if you're living in a high cost country. But with places like the Philippines, at least you have better options to survive and live like a King.
As I said before, thinking about converting your current life skills into some sort of online business (or businesses) is something everyone needs to give some thought to. This is simply future-proofing your financial and retirement options even more.
If you're lucky to be financially independent already, kudos to you.
Just don't fall prey to pinay gold-diggers or scams.
Does She Have Concerns?
Whether you decide to move back to your country or remain living permanently in the Philippines, you do need to give some thought to what your Filipino wife might be thinking.
Meeting your family and friends may give rise to some concerns from her too, if you have children.
Moving back to your country, your pinay girlfriend will be the foreigner.
Are your kids older than she is?
Have you prepared your children to accept a young foreigner as a potential stepmother?
Those can be some difficult and challenging areas to start overcoming, in preparation for meeting your young filipino girlfriend.
Some of your friends may not even like Asian foreigners. There's many of the older generation still think poorly of Asian people.
Areas you need to ponder.
These are all potential issues that can impact the mental state of any Filipino girl, which then affects your relationship with her.
There's a lot of older people who will think poorly of you living with a teenage type younger pinay woman that you have picked up along the way, while travelling overseas in the Philippines.
To be honest, you're the lucky one but they might not think this way.
Give some passing thoughts to religion as well.
If you decide to live in the Philippines then a lot of these worries won't exist.
Bear in mind, she will always be wanting to take care of her family if you're living with her.
This will mean financial support, at some level from you. You need to take this additional burden into account, with your future financial planning.
Does she have children?
Have you met them?
Have you lived with them and her, together?
Can you live for an extended and lengthy period with them and her?
There's a lot to take into account with a new girl in a foreign country.
What's the Process Taking Her Home?
We'll cover the situations for taking your girl back home with you, in a more detailed post shortly.
Most western countries apply stringent rules to Southeast Asian people visiting.
They have concerns the person will take advantage of their Health Care and Social Security benefits.
America and Australia are particularly brutal in the requirements placed on Philippines people. And their visas are expensive.
You're best to check with your own Immigration Website portal and their guidelines and documentation.
They can often detailed and lengthy to wade through.
We should have something more detailed for you guys shortly so stick around.
Why should you stay in the Philippines
- Change of Pace
- Cost of Living in PH
- Beaches & Girls
- Filipino Food
Last updated: November 02, 2021
Hi, my name is Martin. I have many friends in and traveled throughout the Asia/Pacific regions for the past 17 years. I am passionate in helping others with my insight and past adventures.
I hope you enjoy the stories I write and take a little something away from them. I've contributed to over 160 posts on travel, dating, marriage and relationships.