All relationships are a game of acceptable agendas.
Do both parties involved agree to the other person's terms?
With Philippines women, it isn't as easy as believing she wants 'true love.'
What are the agendas of real Filipino women for finding a foreign man on an online dating site?
The ten common reasons women in the Philippines turn to find a foreign man are:-
Don't believe everything women tell you.
Women will tell you they're looking for 'real love' or 'true love.'
Liking or loving a person comes with time, patience, and compromise. It's the intention behind the words that is the telling tale - a story you must uncover.
Filipino men have a reputation for being tough on their Filipina girlfriends and wives, sometimes brutal.
You'll find many women from the Philippines use dating sites as an easy way to connect to foreigners - and try to find a man outside her local community or network.
Opposites attract, as the saying goes. With poor experiences with their local men, Filipinas will eventually turn their heads to a different concept.
You are better to confirm their reasons for seeking you. And ensure there's no emotional baggage.
You can't fault a Philippines girl for doing the same as her friends, can you?
We've written before why foreigners want a Filipina; however, the same applies equally to girls.
Visiting foreigners usually start as a casual holiday sex tourist. The women in the Philippines are renowned as sexual dynamos hence sex tourism.
And the women's prowess in the bedroom is like magnetism - men can't get enough and want to hold on to her pleasures as long as he can. Hence a majority of Western men eventually settle in the island haven of the Philippines.
These Western tourists bring a Pinay (and her family) an increased level of stability, financial independence, and a guy who doesn't have a heritage of beating up women.
Of course, the average Philippines woman would want the same joys as her girlfriend with a foreign man.
There are disadvantages with a Filipino passport if the girl wants to travel or find work outside of South-East Asia.
For example, Filipina women can not travel to the USA easily unless they have a substantial amount of money (and proof). America is at the top of any Filipino's list of places to earn income. Still, few can get there.
Hooking up with an American man eases this pain and give the girl the incentive to marry him and immigrate to the US.
On the other hand, a Filipino passport is the better choice when traveling in and around Asian countries.
Are woman's motives only for your passport's country of origin? Is that acceptable to you?
Foreigners have an ill-conceived reputation as traveling 'sugar daddies,' at least with many Filipinas. Sugar Daddy is the latest catchphrase doing the rounds in the Philippines at the moment.
It seems like half the young Filipinas think every foreign guy is waiting on some 'young, dumb and full of cum' Philippines woman to look into his eyes. After which, he'll drop a load on pesos in her lap.
But this thinking doesn't stop with single Pinay girls either.
Many girls are pushed into this rort by their Filipino boyfriends. The latter are looking for easy and fast cash from unsuspecting tourists.
Ensure you check out every Filipina's education accomplishments, confirm her employment as best you can, and her financial stability.
Don't get straddled with her debts and, worse, those of her secret Filipino boyfriend.
"Behind every successful man, there stands a supporting woman."
While that statement might ring true in many first world countries, the Philippines is somewhat different.
Many younger Filipinas who don't (or can't finish) have a high level of education. They desperately want education and success, but many commonplace things can hinder that goal.
Females also have a lower social standing in Filipino culture and traditions. So what's the answer for a Pinay who wants a successful business, career, and life goals?
She can snare herself a successful (or seemingly successful) foreign boyfriend/husband.
Getting herself a foreign boyfriend is an instant 'level-up' in the game to riches.
This motivation isn't entirely evil. Most people have the same plan.
You should be finding out precisely what her ambitions are. Do they make realistic and financial sense to you?
Do you have the willingness and capacity to help her achieve her goals? Do you want to?
Filipino people are proud to be capable of supporting themselves.
The family unit plays heavily in Filipino culture:-
We have written about supporting your Filipino girlfriend's family before. How you go about doing any form of support is entirely up to you. It would help if you were happy to do it, and her family needs to respect your decision.
When you marry a Filipina, to a degree, you're marrying her family too.
You will have already met her family many times, if and when you get to the marriage stage.
It won't be any surprise to you understanding the level of support you will need to uphold.
Either deal with support on your terms or walk away and find another Filipina (and her family).
A foreigner should never mistake the qualities of a warm and loving Pinay girl as the same as being a slave. We aren't living in the Dark Ages anymore.
However, you need to set and express your expectations to any Philippines woman you end up dating and meeting.
Some Filipino women do believe they're going to end up a slave to foreigners. Be sure to reset her outlook.
Please explain to her you're an independent man already, but she must expect to do what you require of her. After all, you'll be the primary bread-winner in 99.9% of all relationships with a Filipino girl.
You'll have defined expectations concerning:-
You get the idea.
The arrangement isn't slave labor - it's about defined responsibilities carried out within a relationship. Your Filipina lover needs to learn this definition.
In most cases, the average white foreigner or tourist does indeed mean he will have more wealth than the average Filipino.
Foreigner wealth is why Filipina online dating sites so popular with Filipino women looking to rise above their current poverty level.
But just being from a Western country doesn't mean you have an unlimited supply of cash you are willing to pour into a woman's bank account.
The opposite should (and must) be true.
Continued wealth doesn't come from squandering money.
You must always be vigilant for Filipino women looking at you as her income source or a future nest-egg.
Every woman's viewpoint is to look for security and stability for herself and her future family; this outlook is evolutionary and biological.
Suppose you are interested in a Pinay woman with this attitude. In that case, it's time you give her an education on financial management and realign her mind-set.
Be on the lookout for an out-an-out gold-digger, though.
There are a few Filipinas just looking for an easy life who will move on when she exhausts your bank balance.
There are plenty of loving and faithful Filipino men all over the world.
Every nationality has good and bad men (and women).
Dating and finding a good match isn't an easy task. Many Filipinas do go through some trying times when seeking the best guy for herself. Some grow tired of the dating 'ups and downs' and look at foreigners as an easy target.
After all, she loves sex more than you do. She knows foreigners are usually more passive than fiery Filipino men.
But you can't be a push-over either. Do you want a girl who has just grown lazy?
She might be ideal as a short-term holiday girlfriend. Still, laziness isn't a quality you want in a long-term Filipino girlfriend/wife.
A desperate woman will have negative emotional baggage you will eventually find troublesome too:-
Her desperation is rooted in her past.
You need to elicit some background information and determine whether she's worth more of your time and effort.
Men and women sometimes use dating sites as a simple form of passing the time.
When random anonymous chatting is all you need, men and women often turn to online dating sites; to satisfy a thirst for human contact.
There is no commitment on their side. These girls only want to pass the time and meet some new online friends.
But this is a hidden gem for many guys, so listen up.
If these Filipinas have chosen a dating site to fill their time, then that's a signal they might be looking for something else, if the stars and planets align.
You should welcome their random message and agree to chat with them if only to discover what they're doing and why they chose you for talking.
There's a high opportunity that they want to know your true intentions.
Maybe all the Pinay is after is a short-time romp when you go visit her in the Philippines.
It is always prudent to initially trust a woman on a dating site to a limited level. You don't know her, and she doesn't know you.
You must protect yourself from danger and lower your risk until you both get to know each other better.
Most of what we've covered are real-life agendas. You can convert them to the right motivations. That's providing you uncover the actual plan in the first place.
Don't be fooled by the first Filipina to bat her pretty eyelids at you.
Play the field, take things slow and get to know the opposition (I mean that in the nicest of ways).
Join for free today and start the game.
Why do Filipino women join an online dating website?
Should I trust a Pinay girl on a dating site?
Author: Geoff H
Scuba Instructor in the Philippines
Hi. I am Geoff. I am an avid adventurer and teach scuba in the Philippines with my Filipino girlfriend of 4 years. I hope you enjoy my articles and insights.